Finally, the definitive story of the 2016 Presidential election and

the inside-the-beltway details about the falsely convicted rapist

who seeks the Republican nomination and the political operative

whose overweening ambition to be First Lady has such momentous

consequences, both intended and unintended.

     The unfortunately named Baudelaire seems the least likely of

presidential candidates. To Jezy Vici, however, the National Sex

Offender Registry is merely another means to increase name

recognition. Via a hilarious cascade of dirty tricks, chutzpah, and

strategic masterstrokes, she guides her lover through his election

to Congress. In the Republican presidential debates, he is the only

candidate to present a coherent program to help the economy,

create jobs, and reduce political polarization, but when he shoves

an opponent, who falls breaking his coccyx, Baud’s campaign takes

off. With wing-nut billionaires targeting him, evangelicals convinced

he’s the Antichrist, and a Democratic congresswoman, married to

Jezy’s ex-fiancé, pressuring him to switch parties, Baud comes up

with a scheme too reckless even for Jezy.

Anticipated Praise from the 2012 Republican presidential

frontrunners, speaking on guarantee of anonymity:

"Nine nine nine out of a possible one-thousand."

- Token pizza godfather

"Ranks with Ludwig’s Napoleon, William Manchester’s The Last Lion, and

Robert Caro’s The Power Broker, as one of the greatest political

biographies of all time. Best of all, it relates the history of events that

have not yet happened and is even funnier than those tomes."

- The world’s highest paid historian, who cheated on his dying wife while

trying to get the President impeached for having oral sex.

"Made me wet to my knees."

- Swiss citizen, who advised clients how to evade taxes while her husband

ran Sexual Preferences Are Preferences clinics purporting to turn gay

men into heterosexuals, via electroshock.

"There are three great things about the book: its fascinating  characters,

its riveting plot and let’s see… One, two… Ooops."

- State governor who flunked out of Texas A&M

"Forty-seven percent of the people will love this book no matter what. My

job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they

should take personal responsibility and care for their lives."

–Some rich dude, who tied his dog to the roof of the car on family driving


"Most immoral book in the entire 5773 year history of the Universe."

- The biggest loser in any Pennsylvania senatorial election, who’s name is

defined in the Urban Dictionary as “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal

matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

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Robert N. Chan